the end.

It's time to move on.

Thanks for reading.

just not worth saying anymore

rev 21:3-5a

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.' And he who was seated on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making all things new.'"

This... This is what we have to look forward to. I'm excited.

lost in wonder

i hold nothing.
He holds everything.

i break promises.
He never has, nor ever will-- since the day he gave his promises to Abram.

i am flawed.
He is everything i would ever imagine to hope for; He is perfect.

i am a simple nobody.
He is everything.

and i am lost in wonder at why a God as perfect as He is would ever come to lay down his life for one like me.

a thank you note

Dear friends,

Thank you. Thanks for allowing me to share my life and thoughts with you (not just on this blog). Thanks for listening to what I have to say, though it's not much.

Thank you for keeping me alive. Thank you for letting me see hope.
Thank you:
-for pointing me back to Christ constantly.
-for the support you've given me through thick and thin.
-for laughing with and at me.
-for letting me see the good in people after all.
-for smiling.
-for reaching out to me.
-for your troubles.

I could go on and on, but this will have to do.

Thank you for being my friends. I greatly appreciate it.

This, however, is just another place I don't belong.

wake up

this is our chance.
let's take it.

take it or watch others take it from you. opportunities often come only once.
we are, like it or not, the future of our country. this is our moment, this is ours.
the future lies in our hands.
don't miss it.

don't be caught unaware, wondering what happened. reality happens. reality is real. wake up, shake up, bring yourself to realize that time isn't forever. we're made for a purpose. look around with an eternal perspective, for 70 years is nothing compared to eternity.

join me. wake up our generation. let's do things. things that matter-- not only for our futures, but especially to God.
live, love, laugh, and above all, give Him the glory of everything we do.

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDD--- ohi pretty music

you see, I tend to get bored while eating.

only really exciting sandwiches make it better. unfortunately, I don't get really exciting sandwiches often.

durrrrrrrrrrrr

home at last

We stood years apart, yet our frail little hearts kept hoping and hoping; we pressed on on the path that promised love, peace, rest, and best of all, eternal joy. We traveled as one collective mind--with one end goal in our individual minds, though differing in age, size, race, and gender. The path was narrow, the path was hard. It was a race not against one another, but one to finish the race. Many would run, yet many would fail. It was a race full of hardships, trials, pain, and stress-- but in not one moment could there be no soothing effect to be found in the promises and sweet comforting words of the one who awaited us at the end. We learned to keep our eyes straight, to keep our feet steady, but also to look to Him as a child looks up to his father. There were treasures awaiting us, we whispered to one another excitedly. A reward. 

Our efforts were not in vain, nor were the tears and blood that stained the very ground that we walked upon. We would fall, we were told. We would experience weakness beyond imagination, yet still the sweet hands of Jesus guided us and picked us up time and time again as we fell to the ground weak and weary. Not once were we alone; He was always there. He stood and walked and talked beside us, raising our eyes and hearts to gaze and focus upon the saving work of the Cross-- the wooden cross that bridged the massive chasm that seemed endless beneath our feet. 

"I did this for you," He said, "that you may enter in. Run hard this race, dear child; my blood has been spilled for you."

Then...at last. Home. We had done it. We had finished. We had run the race. We had fought the good fight. We had run hard with endurance, raising others' hopes with the everlasting promises found in His abounding grace--for in truth, nothing we had done was in our strength. Each time we fell it was His hand that picked us up, brushing off the dirt and blemish that stained us. And at last, at long last, we had arrived. No sweeter, no more comforting, no more piercing words could have been said as we stood finally face to face with our maker:

"Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter in the joy of your master."

And finally with the multitudes of creation we fell to our knees and raised our voices as one in praise to the King, crying out, "Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever!" 

And so it was, then and forevermore.

beyond the silver glassy sea

no hope.
no love.
no life.

aside from my belief--my faith.
that is what i have. that is all i will ever have in the end, yet the world around me attacks me for it, claiming me to be ignorant, foolish, intolerant. i apparently offend them. according to what i believe, though, it doesn't matter. i'll offend many people in my lifetime, sure. the thing is... i'm not on this earth to please them, no matter how much pressure society places on me.

but one day we'll find out who's right. as of now, they're right in their own minds and i'm wrong. our beliefs, you see, clash; they just can't work together. one day when we pass through this life into the void, it'll be beautiful for one and pure agony for the other.

the past and I

It was like nothing I would have ever expected, yet at the same time, it was exactly how I dreamed it to be. We walked into that huge room together expecting nothing and everything at once. It was silent and empty, but we were happy, quietly content with what we had in one another. We walked on a long silver balcony, staring deep into (or out of?) the glass walls that separated us from the expanse of vast nothingness and darkness that lay just beyond us.

There was nowhere really that we could go, yet the paths to a million places lay at our feet. Life spun in each and every direction. Life itself was in our fingertips at that very moment. It was just me and you and you and me, and I knew that this was where I belonged.

We stood there for hours, staring off into the silent blackness, not at all silent ourselves as our conversation drifted from God to life to love to laughter. I don't know how long we spent there, but to me, it didn't matter-- and when you took my hands and looked into my eyes, nothing else mattered at that moment. 


"I love you," you said. 
I know, I thought. I would never ever let you go-- I love you too much for that to happen. 


Yet now, years later, I hold onto nothing but those memories. As I sit with the sun falling out of the sky before my eyes, I realize one thing; nothing here ever lasts. She's gone. Too far gone. 

lest you fall

Have you ever noticed that it's the smaller things that prove to be the most impactful? It's the short, yet heartfelt encouragements that give the most benefit. It's amazing to see the results of encouragement; it can lift the heartbroken back to their feet, give new life to those who have given up, give wings to the fallen. Even the smallest words aimed to uplift can produce overwhelming results.
We're called to encourage those who feel like they're falling. We're called to build up those all around us. (1 Thess 5:11, 5:14, 1 Tim 6:1-2)

Hm, it looks like I need to mean more with my words. I say too many things that are 1. unnecessary, and 2. inappropriate for that moment. Likewise, I say too few encouraging things to those who deserve them. I need to change.
I pray that I may be a Godly example and encouragement in my actions, speech, and interactions.

never coming back

a smile in the dark,

two hands clasped forevermore,

now a folded flag

it's all gone, she says,

what we never had--and more.

and now it's all gone. 

not alone

Cassie looked up at the bleak skies, warily eying the darkening clouds gathered in the distance. She shivered and pulled her coat closer against the incoming wind, then plunged into the crowds of people around her. Like waves they beat upon each other, not caring what or who was in the way. In the midst of this hustle and bustle of downtown city-life, Cassie felt tiny. Her job as a marketing advisor at a small-scale business didn't really help either. She was nothing, she felt, in the grand scheme of things. She had nothing to contribute to society, she told herself time after time.
It was cold-- the way she thought, the air she breathed in as she walked briskly upon the sidewalk. No, everyone was cold. Eye-contact was inexistent on the streets; eyes never locked upon one another. It was like everyone was afraid... of everyone. Afraid of meeting someone different, unusual, out of the ordinary.

Yet, Cassie thought, in this way, hardly anyone here is different. 

so close

Ever since I was young, I wanted to be so much more than I could ever be. I wanted to fly and be super strong and fast; I wanted to be the man to suddenly swoop in and save the day. As I grew older, I wanted to be the shining kid in the spotlight. I wanted to be cool; I wanted to be hot. And then puberty hit me. I wanted the attention of girls in a very awkward manner (which, of course, meant a complete shunning of all those of the female gender ...I'm still not sure how that works [and I'm still not sure I've gotten over it]). I wanted to be good at things, athletics, leadership, strategy, and so on and so forth-- basically any and every-thing attractive to a 13-14 year old. 

But here I am now, barely older. So? Did I achieve any of these things? 

Heh, hardly any, and if any, maybe only just a little bit. I've gotten a whole lot closer to those goals, but heck - I'm only 16. I've got what, 50 or so (if that, or more, God willing) more years to live. I've got so many more dreams to dream, more things to wish for. 

And God sure knows, I won't stop dreaming.

Yeah. I still want to be Spiderman.

Nelson Mandela:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

flying without wings

I love running. There's something to it that makes it so addictive--and I just can't pinpoint it. Maybe it's the fact that it sets my mind free from all that I care about; maybe it's the fact that it makes me feel weightless; maybe it's the fact that it creates a new world before me, a spinning new vortex of words, images, and feelings. I don't know.

But this I do know: the sense of freedom is all I need to keep going. There's no restraint, no one to tell you that you're failing, no one to tell you that you can't do this or that. Each footstep upon asphalt turns into so much more than a dull rhythm; it sparks memories of memories long lost in my mind to come alive, stirring the imagination once more to build upon and entangle these images in a dancing, swirling haze of mysteries. 
I'm free.
I'm flying.

So wait, what are we here for anyways?

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence”

- Aristotle -

          There are countless questions that we face during our time on the earth. The meaning of our existence, no doubt, is the most-often debated and controversial question of all. People have spent their entire lives searching for such a meaning or to simply find a way to make life worthwhile. Like Solomon, many chase after things of this world only for temporary satisfaction yet seeking something that will last, but are repeatedly reminded that again, all is vanity. And just like them, we also chase for things that give us pleasure; we want to find something that can satisfy our desires, something to make us happy. We all want to be happy, don't we?

I think Aristotle's observation on happiness describes the truth about all of mankind quite aptly. There is no goal in life except to satisfy the desires of the heart. The happiness (no matter how temporary it is) of the individual becomes the sole priority. But if we leave it at that, we leave life to become exceedingly selfish. Yes, a lot of people are nice and want to spread the joy, but deep down, we all know that everyone wants to be happy. 

 Well, why not? Being happy is pretty awesome. But I think the difference between Christians and the rest of the world is that although we search for happiness, we don’t spend our entire lives looking for it. We don’t have to spend our lives searching for an answer because frankly we’ve already found it. We’ve been enslaved by our sins and been set free through Christ’s substitutionary death—the greatest gift the world has ever known. We never deserved it. Why then do we go around searching in this world for something that will satisfy when we know that nothing on this earth will ever end up satisfying us? I’m not saying that Christians should abandon a search for happiness; I just think they shouldn’t have to search for an answer in the first place. There’s a lot of joy that can be found outside of the Gospel (and definitely something that God has given to us to enjoy), but the basis of our happiness should be found first and foremost in what Christ has done for us.

My happiness isn’t my meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence; my purpose is to solely glorify Him who reigns above and to live exemplifying the wonders of His glorious Cross. Happiness is just a bonus. :)

lost without a cause

Time spins around me. I don't know what to think or feel anymore. This fire brings no comfort to the vast expanse of the pure emptiness of the night sky. The darkness envelops my thoughts-- thoughts that come uninvited, pulling, stretching, destroying. It is relentless as it slowly pulls my soul apart until finally all that I am is stripped away. I am left here only with my heart beating its deadly and monotonous rhythm.

Oh how I ache for sunlight. 
Oh how I ache for the dawn.

identity crisis--- WHAT. AOWOUWUWHUWH

whoops, forgot to write stuff here. anywaays..

So often I find myself wondering who I am. I try to find my identity in the clothes I wear, the people I call my friends, the way I talk, the way I act, the way I appear to others. It's exceedingly foolish to do so, yet it happens far too many times. This is all I need to know: that I'm a child of God's. I need nothing more. I am nothing more. Playing around with the world to find out who I am is NOT an option.

I am Christ's alone.
This is who I am forevermore.